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By now, you're already well aware of the big winners from last night's Academy Awards. You know that Sandra Bullock cries and the Dude abides and blah, blah, blah. But what about the evening's less predictable race? Namely, who won the coveted title of 's best Oscar host?
What, you didn't think including two hosts was a random choice, did you? If the Academy Awards are about nothing else, they're about segregating multiple things of more or less equal quality and declaring one of them a winner. Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin weren't just co-hosts. In true Oscar tradition, it was Alec versus Steve. And who brought home the nonexistent trophy? Let's take a closer look…. Martin came out strong in the opening minutes; after Baldwin introduced his partner as "one of the most enduring entertainers of all time," Martin returned the compliment by saying "And this is Alec Baldwin.
Later, in a hilarious pre-taped parody of Paranormal Activity, Martin presumably sleepwalking bitch-slapped Baldwin with Ike Turner enthusiasm. And then, as the icing on the abuse cake, Martin lured Baldwin into a discussion of his nomination for The Cooler—"one of the greatest days in my life," Baldwin admitted—before cutting him off with a derisive laugh. Surprisingly, given his voicemail history and 30 Rock cred, Baldwin never rose to the bait and proved that he, too, could be a self-important ass with a sense of self-righteous entitlement.
When in doubt, you can't go wrong with a little self-deprecation. And nobody does it better than Steve Martin. Some of his bits missed the mark—like that "What's five times two?
Whether he was introducing Queen Latifah by saying that working with her on Bringing Down the House "was the highlight of her entire life," or confusing "whores" and "horses" "I don't think the plural of whores is whoreses," he sniffed at Baldwin , or pointing out Helen Mirren as "That damn Helen Mirren," completely misunderstanding her royal title, he hit all the right notes.